I have secrets to tell.

Actually, I'm a lesbian. Not only that. I am actually a boy when I was born. I did an operation. What's that called again. The one where you change your gender. I'm not a Singaporean. I am from Africa. I take drugs all the time and smoke 10 boxes of cigarettes a day. The cigarettes are actually illegal. I love eating human's flesh and I I love drinking people's pee. I actually am a very tall boy but did an operation and amputated my legs, thus making me too short. I wear a wig on my head all the time, but people do not notice. My bones are all very fragile and once you even touch it gently, it'll break. That's why I put an 'light iron protection' all around my bones. Nobody knows, that's why I weigh %$&@*# kg. I have many ferocious dogs at home to protect me so nobody can see me when I'm in my real true monstrous form. I visit my friends deep down in the sea every weekend. There's where I go all the time. I am a serial murderer. I bring people to dark corners and drug them, rape them, rob them. I am not a real human but operated by my master. I have a hidden box on my back and you can control me easily through the remote inside. There even is an 'easy-peasy' handbook you can refer to. My bar code serial is @#%$*$#^*#!^&*#. I come from somewhere you would very much like to visit. Would you want to follow me back after my mission on Earth? It's very fun there! *Innocent smile*

HAPPY APRIL'S FOOL!
(So obviously everything I mentioned is not true.)