
Maybe my subconsciousness hasn't absorbed that. But s'well it will soon whether it likes it or not.
Now to talk about (part of) me and (part of) my (thoughts on my) emotions.
[Coz I told myself this morning that I will post about how I feel about (yada yada refer above sentence).]
If I'm happy, let me be. Give me some moments to celebrate or whatever, then bring me down when I'm calm again so at least it won't be such a major change of mood or whatever for me. I might not know what I'm doing when I'm (in) high (spirits) so don't blame me if I'm at climax point and said something to have hurt you directly or indirectly coz I wouldn't have realised what I just said. And when I'm down or sad, please leave me be. If I don't seem to 'cheer up' like you've asked me to, don't force me. If I don't respond, don't try and console me. I'd like to show how I feel and feel what I show. I'm not a robot, if you're unsure about that. I'm not always happy happy smiley smiley. I am human. HUMAN, y'all.. And if I happen to be grouchy, don't tell me things like 'sheesh what a grouch, I just asked a question' well fuck you. You've had your share of bad days, so give me mine. And no, I am not something that don't tire at all. I feel tired more than half the time. And because I do feel tired, I tend to stare off into space and just stare (duh), so don't click your fingers in front of me and go 'what are you thinking about?' coz then I'd just be downright pissed but I won't show it (again) coz I'm the robot (again). I know I'm not obliged to, but I feel the need to. I can be your listening ear and show really apt facial expressions to encourage you to go on and share your burden with me but I don't find anyone to do the same for me. And it is pretty difficult but I think I've more or less mastered the art of hiding my true thoughts and emotions (and the shits). Like I can be totally pissed off with you right now but my facial expression will be all like :D so you won't know. Coz that's the way things are around here. You can't mean what you show and show what you mean. Just as you can't say what you mean and mean what you say. That makes us all big fat liars. So who's there for me (blech again)? Your mum.
Now really, I'm not a very nice person and I don't expect you to think that I am, but if you do I've got to let it be known that I don't really mind (care), it's a (kind of) free country.
End rant. You didn't have to read that, really.
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